Not a single day has passed, on my adoption journey, where I didn’t feel loved, accepted, and supported by these four people in my life. Words can never fully express my gratitude. If you are pregnant and making an adoption plan, communicate with those around you. Do not make assumptions. Voice your needs and your concerns. Allow them to be there for you. If you are pregnant and feeling alone, please find your tribe of supporters in positive, adoption support groups, with the adoptive couple you pick or within the agency you place with. No one should have to walk alone!
It’s been almost a week and I still feel such joy in my heart. I can’t wait to continue to share my story with you all. It is a privilege!
The hole in my heart that took me years to accept is overflowing with JOY! The greatest and purest JOY and LOVE of a mother!
I have spent more years with those strings tied to my limbs than I have been free. I know Grief in his darkest, ugliest moments. Grief seeps its way into every crevice of my life over eighteen years ago. He woke me up at night with terrifying night terrors. He dropped me to my knees in the middle of a parking lot. His maniacal laugh echoed the hallways of my home as I screamed out for mercy. Those puppet strings find their way to the root of every unbearable emotion inside of you. At any given moment, Grief can pull on one of those strings with such force you feel like your limbs will fall off!
Show empathy to those around you, communicate authentically and honestly— as an adoptive parent, birth parent or adoption professional. There is nothing more refreshing than being around others who aren’t afraid to be themselves!
I say a tearful goodbye to who I was and reach down to let go of the last piece of skin dangling at my feet, and watch it fly behind me from my rear view mirror.
I will never be her again.
If you allow it, mindfulness can play a significant role in your adoption journey. Mindfulness is about taking the time to process information and acting with a chosen response. In a world saturated with social media, instant gratification, and knee-jerk reactions we lose the quality of responding thoughtfully.
I wanted to roll over this morning and feel and find the joy. I wanted so much to make this birthday different, it should be different, but as every moment before this, it’s never what I expect or what I think it should be. The contrasting emotions have been brewing in my chest for a week now, and though this year was a smoother ride than years before, I still find myself begging for relief.
Before delivery, and after I had voiced my decision to place my baby girl for adoption, I had many people openly doubt my choice. They questioned the process, they questioned my motives, they questioned everything, but I was confident in my decision.